Bushbots by the Bay
Grab your cell phone cameras! There’s another Bushbot in San Francisco!
The Bushbot technology is really advancing, thanks to Ken Mehlman and his crack team of programmers. Sometimes a Bushbot sounds almost natural, and only a highly trained ear can distinguish the difference between the Bushbot and an actual human practicing independent thought. For instance, the text of this editorial contains many conversational phrases designed to make the programmed content flow more naturally. You need special equipment to filter out the RNC talking points, but I can do that for you here:
Sept. 11, Sept. 11, Sept. 11, Clinton did it too, FISA crippled the FBI and Able Danger, the leak is worse than the lawbreaking, the Valerie Plame leak is still unproven, Bushbashing Bushhaters endanger America, Sept. 11, Sept. 11, Sept. 11.
See? Embedded in that 1253 word column is the same standard code that you’ve been hearing for the last four or five years. I’ve just saved you a lot of time.
Bushbots are activated by a signal outside the normal human auditory range. It’s issued from time to time by Karl Rove or his android, Mehlman. Since normal humans cannot hear it, we have to study artifacts: for example, the coordinated publication of multiple identical editorials in newspapers around the country, or the same-day appearances of exceedingly life-like Bushbots uttering identical talking points on weekend news programs such as Meet the Press, This Week, and Chris Matthews. It’s difficult for scientists working with small budgets to study the phenomenon; they need more technical resources.
I wonder if the presence of just one Bushbot in SF is enough to keep Bill O’Reilly from smiting the city? Probably not. Bushbots are indestructible. They will motor forth from the smoldering ruins of SF to converge in Richard Pombo’s district and await further instruction. Of course, Richard Pombo will be a little busy.